Uncontented

Private blogggg~

2010-02-22T18:56:00.006+08:00

Bidding goodbye is the hardest thing to move on w/o you.

Spent my weekends with Weiling, Kim, Huishan, Sikang

On thy last sat, met up w kim ard woodlands interchange. Had a puff while waiting for huishan to arrive. Bus-ed down to vivo, slack @ there. 3am, cab-ed down to kim house. Studied for awhile. Slept for a few hours before going home. Back home ard 1pm+, prepared, seraphine came. So took cab down to Lot 1, due to thy heavy rain. Met huishan at 5pm plus, train-ed down to soo wen hse for SBM project. Afterwards, met up with sikang @ gombak station, kim&weiling ard cck station. Don't wanna elaborate after that. Fcuk-up things!

Won't be blogging often @ www.contented-18th.blogspot.com

Will be blogging at my private blog(:

Stab it through

2010-02-18T00:46:00.004+08:00

I fall so deeply into it. I thought everything was just wishful thinking of mine, & i realised, whenever we strated bickering, you will always laugh in the end. I don't know how long can i get to meet you up again? Well,everything started off with a picture. When i browse through, my heart sank. If i were to tell you the truth, perhaps, we won't even get to talk. Move a lil closer , will you? Hope i get to see you sat.

Getting close

2010-02-17T00:10:00.006+08:00

Getting closer, makes my heart beat a lil for you.

Cny visit @ Mr chooKL house. Miss her daughter, chloe alot. Some of thy girls are jealous why chloe seems to be more close to me than others. HiakHiak~ Having fun @ there, i felt so welcomed in there. As my previous post had mentioned before, i really miss 4c alot. I miss the fun, laughters, tears we shared. Those memories of 4c are still lingering in my mind. Especially, my cliques of course. Was playing around with YJH today, he fighting with me @ mr choo hse. Because of a plate of bee hoon, haha. & I caused chloe to cry. He told her father that he don't want YJH to bully me. Anw, sorry chloe, liting jiejie loves you(:
Trained down to Batok, bused down to Timah, Sihua drop her wallet in the bus. & again suay. Her IC is inside. Fcuk the person who took her wallet. Singing session @ timah, mixed feelings when i'm seating with him.He's cares alot for me. He bought a drinks for me when i told him that i've sore throat. When we are seating close, i was wondering why we are seating so close. We seems to be more close than last year. When we are otw home, i didn't watch out for car, you shouted @ me when i was almost banged. Thanks. But maybe the feelings in between is just a wishful thinking, Well, i still look forward to meet you, and fight w you. Cab-ed down to Batok, acc sihua to make a poloice report. Took neoprints with them, ate dinner & back home(:

180609

~~Baby~~, sorry for those hurtful words. I did that to make you forget me cleanly. But is the fact, i no longer wanna be with you. Cause we are not destined at all. This is the only answer i can give to you. i cried because of you , once again.

Losing out of control.

2010-02-14T01:59:00.003+08:00

Didn't went for CNY celebration @ Bpghs. Well, i regretted much. Cause i miss 4c( 2009 batch). Seriously, i miss those fun with my cliques when studying! Esp when Y.junhao, is beside me, i will tickle him till he cannot take it. I still remember 3 years back, all those things happen. Yet, 4c's still stay united. I miss the teachers there, esp Mr Choo& Mr yeo. They are fun teachers. But sometimes they are strict!

2.41am now, i'm still blogging&surfing the net. i'm a crazy freak!

Hectic day(:

2010-02-12T21:42:00.005+08:00

Woke up kidda early today? Ard 7.30am, then leave the house. Millions of Apologies to Seraphine & Si kang. They waited me for an hour. OSA lesson, LeeKK is wearing in pink, looks cool?! Haha. Boarded the transport bus to West Bowl. & i'm a potential " longang striker". Haha, First round, was very fun(: Second round, kim joined in. And she helped all of us to played. Still, longang striker! Haha. Had so much fun today with OD! After bowling, went to partyworld @ CityVibe. Kim, Seraphine,Si Kang, Hui shan & me of course shouted like an idiot! My throat kills me. No voice alrd. Haha. When will be another tonning session with my pretty babes?! Someone please tell me! Haha. I miss T.Weiliang, she's not with us today. Miss her miss swan face(: Haha

Afterall, we are still as united as ever. Be it in the past or future, i know that we can overcome all this circumstances coming through our way. Sometimes, our tone may be different from others, but i do hope the 8 of us still stay together as 1. We might not be as good in the surface, but our hearts will be as 1. Sorry for all those things, that i've treated you unfairly. It's time to put myself in your shoes. And hope will be easily adpat to outside life. This society is not as naive as what you think(: Love ya, Pretty Babes!

Guess it's time to let go;

I've declined you times & times;

You get irritated;

While me, still holding on;

Goodbye(:

2010-02-12T02:43:00.002+08:00

我们还能回到从前吗? ........

OD ROCKS!

2010-02-11T23:29:00.002+08:00

Love T.WeiLiang ttm, Okay!
Love Seraphiane, WXM, ttm!

If time can goes back, i wouldn't mind going back to thy past.........

Advanced Valentine's Day With OD!

2010-02-10T21:39:00.002+08:00

I didn't blog yesterday, hence, today will be having double wordy post.!*Beware* Pictures will be updated tmr! Lookout for more updates!

Went IMM yesterday with Seraphiane & SiKiang to buy Valentine's Day prezzies! Roaming around in the shopping mall, intitally, nothing caught our eyes. We just chatting away what to buy. Bought many things @ Minitoons & we exceeded our budget. Haha, but it's all worthwhile for my pretty babes. Had our dinner @ Kopitiam. Went up to 4th floor, to wrap the prezzies up. & We were all laughing throughout , as if the we own the place. Back home aftemath.

Didn't slept a wink yesterday till today, i was facing the laptop 24/7. Intend to meet up Seraphiane & SiKiang for Mcdonals breakfast-.-. But, i couldn't get our off the muthaF house due to some reasons. They are so good enough to trained down to cck interchaange to meet me. Bus down to school while Weiliang cab-ed down to school, Rich! Late for PE , that of course. Exchange prezzies time! Haha! We like opening a funfair! Thanks pretty babes for those prezzies.
Mrs Ang class is just a boredom, Cause she been repeating& repeating the same lines, irritating enough! __ MuthaF! Miss irene class, everyone went high high! Love miss irene ttm! Msn-ed with her just now, she told me she was very touched of what OD had put in. Finally, i get to see Miss irene put on a smile, Joyous one(: SnipSnap photos time~ OSA lesson, KO till 4 plus, woke up, Weiliang entertained me again with her jokes! & She got a secret with me. Haha. She claim that i cannot tell anyone. Haha!

I love T.Weiliang ttm! & she loves me too(:

You've left

2010-02-08T22:27:00.006+08:00

The 1st day....

Snapshot by SiKiangggg!

Went school with my house blender! Met up with the Weiliang & Huishian @ the last cabin, Joined seraphiane! Went school together, like an idiot bring so many things. After school, went to Soo wien house to slack. Weiliang & co playing majong, while me studying. Nothing to say ler! Gooodbye!

& I LOVE WEILIANG, MUTHAF, TTM(:
& I LOVE SERAPHIANE , TTM TOO!

第一天过了, 心还是依依不舍 ?

没有你的第一天 ,仿佛离你远去.

Afterall, i still miss the times we had

2010-02-07T23:20:00.004+08:00

*EDITED* 3:51am

K- box Session with adeline & co. Beng left after shopping around Jurong point. Train-ed down to Bugis as adeline friend wanna shop for CNY clothes. Caught a movie at there, Kidda scary. But is nice afterall, titled "Legion", Rated 4/5*. Cab home aftermath. & now i'm rushing the project again. Mine bursting.

This was taken on Mrs Hoe's advance birthday celebration(: Finally adeline get to send me!

How times flies indeed? I've read through all those past memories, It's still lingering inside me. Are you still thinking like the same? Two years back, you once promised me you'll never let go. Yet, i'm the naive one. I choose to believe you on that moment. You once held me back, when i started popping pills. You snatch it away from me, and you swallow it. You once embraced me in your arms and promised never gonna let it go. This feelings have been staying all along inside. I've no idea , where did you got my number from? Two years has gone, things has change drastically. I'll never be the past liting i've been, cause those memories hurts me to the core. Because of you, i slit, popping pills. I yearn the feeling with you, but being with you, it only makes me more upset. When things has came this far, we couldn't changed for each other. I will never smoke , slit and popping pills because of you again. I did all those things, to make myself numb, but now, i never again do this. It only hurt the loved ones beside me. Today, i didn't expect to run into you, you called me to clarify those jealousy things. Well, you can see very clearly that i'm with a girl and a guy. Obviously i've nothing to do with him. You doubt my trust for you. How am i going to depend on you for the rest of my life? Jealousy only kills me. Those days with you alone @ your house, are the most memorable memories. But those days doesn't last as what i expect from you. Because of "third party" , you left silently. Did you ever realised, when you're having chicken pox, who's the one been taking care of you. I'm worried about you, but do you know that? I don't mind being scolded or whatsoever, i just wanna see you being fine. Since you alr know what my answer gonna be? What for being jealous? I don't wanna quarrel with you. I detest it alot. i miss the feelings when we are staying alone in home. But how many girls you alr bring to your house? Countless? You're a duatao alr, while me still yearning back the feeling. Be it your love to me, or my love to you, is just an puppy love. True love will never ever be as sweet as this. Cause you're the only one who can satisfy my love. Aku cinta kau:(

因为太爱你,我也无法放弃一切. ...

A Moment's folly

2010-02-05T20:05:00.002+08:00

I've to accept things that happen abruptly. Once bitten, Twice Shy

Thinking back of those happy times we had; & i've to give up now. Silly decision. And i know weiling going to be fcuk-ed up when i made this decision.Maybe my actions to her make her feel disgusted/irritating. I don't know why the outcome getting worse and worse. When i'm trying to salvage back a friendship, i get repayments like this. Well, things are getting out of way. My mind feels so blank whenever i face you, cause you're just a person, whom i hope you won't be ostracized by friends. You are a friend who i can get along in the first place, still remember our jokes? It seems to be yesterday, but indeed, time flies. It never wait for anyone to make a U-turn. Just like an roller coaster on & on. If you guys feel that this decision is an silly act, then leave it. You guys won't be able to know what i've gone through before in the past. Firstly, People thinks we will split no matter in what terms. Secondly, I tried salvaging this friendship till i really can't take it anymore. Thirdly, i no longer pursure the things i wanted. Is just a month plus, our friendships can be as sour as can be, can be as sweet as possibe. But it turns out oher way.

I still shine infront of you, Ass!

2010-02-04T21:57:00.004+08:00

Firstly got to wish Mrs hoe, Happy Birthday(:

I'm waiting the photos to be send * pinpoint to adeline*

I've been thinking recently, what am i doing? Cause i feel stupid when i look into the book like a retard and bang the wall without noticing. Laughs. Anw, Baking session with ling,shan and carin yesterday. The outcome turns to be quite okay. Still edible. IPPT today & i'm having body ache right now. After school, went to Jurong library to revise textbooks, end up discussing SBM project. For our group is quite smooth, but for Shan group, seems to be contradicting what to sell. I gonna rush out the proposal, the deadline coming, I'm yet to revise EFC ( pathetic subject), i'm in dead meat!

Are we still together?

2010-02-02T22:46:00.002+08:00

I'm in doubt. Someone please let me wake up from my senses. It's time to reveal the truth of this cruel society. Ever before tried the first time crying in the toilet, squatting down, crying like a dog, while you are wearing mascara? I tried it today. And today absolutely is a very Bad day for me.
I finally believe that all these things are true. I won't be able to avoid all this, unless i know how to face it. I've been running away, but who knows what is going through my mind whenever i step into class? Being ostrasized in the past, alr make me more disspointed in myself. & Now again, this matter. It might be easily solved in the surface, but do you know, after this incident, there will always be a scar down there. It's won't be as easy as what people think. I told myself before, i will stand up no matter how. But now is a bottomless pit, i will never get up. I miss those times with you all. I would even want this friendship back. But guess, i will never get to smile again unless one day i'm gone,leave the 7 of you. I will never want to trust people anymore, no more.

2010-02-02T00:55:00.003+08:00

I gonna give up everything for once.

Liting, you're sucha a failure!

Virgin experience

2010-01-31T22:33:00.003+08:00

Virgin Experience of Cycling.

Alright, Just a short post will do for the updates. Went to Pasir Ris park with my cliques after receiving the scholarship award @ my sec school. So quickly rush back home, prepared, met up the S and Soo wen at the passenger service. Again, i very dua pai, to let them wait. Haha, my apologies. Train-ed to Yishun, met up the rest of them, bus-ed to Pasir ris. Otw to there, me and yuping talk alot, Haha, never changed. Had Kfc for lunch @ Whitesands shopping mall, then bus-ed to DTE. Except for weiling & yuping is rollerblading, me & the rest are cycling. The phobia of cycling is gone. Cause i told carin before that i scared fall down. So she was the one keep on calming me down. haha, poor her. 6.20pm, return back the bike. & frustrating about wher to go aft that. Me, and the rest, except for carin and soo wen and sikang, went to K-box. Yeah, i enjoyed alot, despite me kept on vomiting like nobody business. So sang along with the crazy girls till 11 pm. No more train service for seraphine, so we accompanied her to get a cab . And actually the four of us wanted to ton and Marina Barrage/Changi to see Ahgua. But we had a hard time getting a cab, due to some reasons, end up we ton at Sembawang. Was kidda tired when is about 4 plus in the morning. Huishan can't take it also. Weiling the most zai one LOR! haha. So back home , sleep and here i'm updating(: Gonna turn in early.

2010-01-29T22:51:00.000+08:00

Liting, put a smile on your face(:

2010-01-29T15:48:00.003+08:00

IF MY EXISTENCE LEADS TO ALL THIS CAUSES, I WILL LEAVE AUTOMATICALLY __ !

School life is not as easy as ABC. I try to forgo the past, and let it be the inspiration of my life. I never expect that because of my existence, people will like this think about me. Be it in friendship or relationship even family matters, I'm just a failure. I deserve a tight slap from myself. I shouldn't belong to here. In the first place, we shouldn't be too close. Thus it causes so much things to happen. Everyone seems to be faking a smile in front of me. Maybe my existence shouldn't be here instead. You guys are the best clique i ever met. But is the worst friendship i ever had. Because till now I'm still struggling in ITE life. People tend to tell me that, friends won't be forever lasting. Because each of us will tend to backstab each other. I told them, no, i don't agree. Yet, this is the outcome i saw. Blame it to my stubbornness, i should be more introvert than extrovert. Like this , i won't be able to make any friends inside. & let the remaining months to past. The inner of me doesn't even reflect to my external me. Well, i don't know what i can really help to mend back this friendship. & let the bonding more stronger. Misunderstanding kept on coming to me. i don't know what can i say or do to let you know that i'm not that kind of person. I miss the camp bonding:( . Too bad, i no longer wanna stay for long. Since there's alr people starting to detest me, why not i leave automatically in this friendship circle. Then there won't be any disputes with each other.

180609♥
6 months ago, we yearn to be with each other till now. But destiny break us apart. Today, you text me out of a sudden, i was elated. But when you pop out the question, my mind when blank, totally. I don't know what to answer you. I don't wish to give you any false hopes. You shed tears twice because of me, and i'm still as stubborn as a mule. I can't tolerate when we have to give in each other so much. I gave up many things cause of you. If you still remember, i quarrel with my friend just because of you. You make me go berserk sometime. I've no idea why till now we are still contacting. Yet , we are still holding on. I'm not ready for it. Sorry, love.

Fuckup

2010-01-28T22:01:00.002+08:00

What can i do? It hurts me even more.

When things has came to be like this, i've to accept it. Since you alr gone, so why still holding on? I don't know what's happening exactly. If you are to tell me what going on, save the breathe! I don't wish to know anything that related to you.

School is a bore. But with the crazy girls around, i'm contented. Cause actually i didn't turn up for school But when i think of facing four walls at home, why not go to school, and go crazy with the girls. Finally, i catch the balls of what Mr pierre teaching. At least i get to know that his short form thingy, is like fuckup when i have to think what he's writing on the whiteboard. & my throat fcuking kill me ttm. Pains like hell now. Take strepsils no use. Don't wish to pay a visit to hospital:( It will kills me , if i'm hospitalised due to that particular reason.

No idea whther wanna go school for tmrw. Cause my throat gonna make me suffer whole day. But i just wanna play badminton with them! Haha, It will makes me laugh . At least i can put on a smile.(: A unknown number suddenly text me. And he claim he is the hottest guy in OD(fyi, my class). and guess who he is? Is zauffrey! Arsehole! I scolded dumbass. And he say he accept that he is. Fuunny people!

Got to turn in early, or else, someone gonna kill me!

The feelings sucks ttm-.-

2010-01-27T22:41:00.005+08:00

It's just only 3 weeks, many things happen within each other. The matter is not even yet solved, yet another came up. What wrong with the whole class? Are we foes or friends? Why we have to make each other unhappy? When actually we can get along. Well, now i don't even know how to differentiate who is the one who always been there for me. I took the initiative to call up F, just wanna let her know what going through my mind. I don't want her to be ostracised. It make me so guilt-ridden. This matter is solved. & I'm happy. Halfway back home, i vomit out blood. I think is because i didn't take my meals on time, thus causing my stomach fcuking pain. There's pierre lesson tmr, guess will be a boring one. Yes, i know what going on now in my life.

Dedication to my clique:

Well, we finally back to where we are. I get to heave a sigh when everything is going smoothly. I hope we won't be like what TATA had said. There only left few months, why not be happy& cherish the moments with each other. Love you all ttm, crazy clique! Thank you all, for making me realised i still have you guys around to support me whenever i'm down, Esp, weiling&Seraphine. They always worry about me. Sorry to make you all always worry. I won't go missing, anymore, no more.

Washing my hands off from you

2010-01-26T21:18:00.004+08:00

Sorry girls, make you all worry :( . Well, many things had happen in a go. Open school for only 3 week plus, so much things happen. What about the next few months time? Are we going to be like what tata has said. If what tata said is true, i guess i will disappear automatically. F, can you tell me what happening? Because of your so called "boyfriend' , we turn out to be like this. You can't deny anymore, I've ask him alr. He told me you and him is just normal friends. I alr betray my own first priority, i don't want let this carry on. You get what i'm trying to imply? I don't know what i can do to make you again with us. If you think not being with make you feel better than go ahead barhs.

I don't know how long i can hold on. Sometime i hope i will be dead. Everytime will be fine. But being dead can't solve any peanuts. Spare me the agony, i've enough running away. So, i washing my hands off from you. I let you decide to go with who, i've no qualms to decide for you.

Meeetup the girls @ 9.30am, end up i'm the only one who late. sorry for letting the girls wait. Miss irene is on medical leave. So end school earlier. Don't know where to go, so end up at home. And went missing again.

Naive thinking

2010-01-26T00:48:00.002+08:00

Life is so unfair. I know it since when i'm young. Sigh! Feel like going out of the house now. But the feeling make me more confused. People thinks that i have a sunflower character, but i'm not actually. I can't hold on for long,i will give up one day. Sigh. Liting is useless

Birthday girl(:

2010-01-25T23:25:00.007+08:00

Adeline Hiew Chui Wen(: 17 years old le(:

Firstly i would like to wish you a happy birthday;

Don't be troubled by things;

You can call me up anytime like in the past;

My ears will be 24/7 for you;

Remember to go towards your goal;

And acheive it(:

Love you(:

School time(: Ding dong; ding dong; Ding dong ding dong!

With Miss Irene(:

Retarded Face-.-

School was fun in the first place. But whenever i step into mrs ang lesson, i feel helpless. I don't know what she trying to teaching actually. I'm trying to know wha she teaching yet nothing at all. After school, went for badminton with weiling, huishan,seraphine,si kang, carin . Yes, i played badly. Cause i'm noob! Haha. Anyway. I will smile no matter what. Must believe me, i will move on with life(:

Goals? Perhaps?

2010-01-24T02:18:00.004+08:00

*Edited*

See the happy face of mine? Is not me actually:(

Well, after so much considerations, like again , back to where i am. Back to the place where i belong to. Well, again, i run away from home, Mum knows about it. And she don't intened to trouble the police again. She knows what going through my mind. She worried that i might reallly end up do silly things. But i know deep down in her, she love me dearly. Thanks, mum(:

ITE life is super slack ttm. But i'm trying to catch the balls of what teacher is teaching. I'm going to mug v. hard . I promise i'm not going to let down everyone.

I realised the ex-clique of mine, is coming back. Years back, we quarrel like cat fight. Now we are chatting away. When i'm recollecting the moments with you all, i felt so warm-hearted inside. You guys once helped me alot. But fate brings us to this situation.

Don't be naive anymore

2010-01-23T15:00:00.002+08:00

The thought of going down makes me more heartbreak. Th scenario makes me guilty for you. I don't know whats more i can do for her and you. I'm just useless in things when it happens in my family. But i still have to accept the fact. Since you and her is my kin, i can't run away from the fact. Thanks to weiling, she make me know that i still have to move on. I didn't went home actually ytd. i was afraid to face the fact. But now when i reached home, i'm been drag to there. Well, i accepted it. I'm not going to cry. I will be happy(:

A fake smile

2010-01-22T23:00:00.005+08:00

Every ending, has a beautifully end...ing But where's mine? All along, i'm trying to put on a smile & move on with life even though things are difficult for me now. I tried my best to put on a smile no matter where i am. There once i leave, there once i give up, but what now again? Deeep down in your heart, as an kin to me, do you ever realise that it pains in my heart, whenever i have to make a trip down there. I shed tears, i quarrel, but now even worse. There no more smile lying on my face. People ask me why no matter how worst a problem is , i still will smile and laugh loudly? Is because i don't wish to let anyone know that deep down in me, actually me have problems with so much things. My family background make me feel more unwelcome. Sometime i even doubt that, did you all take me by mistake? Right now, i'm weeping away, just like attending a funeral wake. Ever realised, when you use violence on the people you once love dearly, it's pains so much? This debt is difficult to pay. No matter how much money you want, is an endless bottomless pit. I'm starting to give up, but i don't wish. I only managed to get out the past, i don't wish to be in. That was the worst memories i ever had. The worst past, the worst friendship, worst relationship. I've fall down once, get up once. Have you ever tried to turn back & see clearly what have you been doing this few years? I'm just like in dilemma. I don't know what i can do. I only can tell you a sentence." You will regret one day, i swear, you will!"

I didn't update anything ytd. The reason is i'm too tired. This week was fun actually, i make friends with people that i don't even know. But i'm happy, even though things still coming through my way. Well, w those crazy girls, i guess, i will be able to put on a smile, or a heartily laugh. Hope so. As for studies, i don't catch a ball of what teacher doing, except for OSA & CS. I think i do badly this year. seriously, i don't wish to bring any bad results home. I just wanna aim for GPA 4 pointers. But there when i really out my whoile heart in to study. Well, guess is time to study, not to slack anymore. Liting, move on, don't give up. Things will get better eventually. Well, ignore me. I'm a stupid girl!

Move on, dude

2010-01-20T23:25:00.005+08:00

Yes, i received your message today. My feelings just like up & downs. But i just wanna tell you move on. There no reason for you to stay anymore. You deserve a better girl. If you ever realised, on your birthday. Your mum was elated to see you coming back in NS uniform. Your mum do loves you. Cherish everything that you have. Be contented(: Aku sayang kau. Don't ever come back to me anymore. I need to refrain myself replying you. Eventually, we will forget each other one day. Goodbye.

Happy Moments(:

2010-01-19T19:19:00.007+08:00

Happy moments(: Well as for today, i thought will be my doom day. But the Sharon Yeo is busy. So she won't be able to attend to us. After school, idling around in the campus. & then someone came up with an idea, which is cut banhgs together. So me, seraphine, weiling and huishan of course. We went to cut bangs together. The results is so funny. Very weird when we walk together. As if like siao char bo roaming around the streets.

Before

After

Well, i realised, ITE life seems to be more lively than my secondary school days. I shed more joyful tears than the past. But i won't be able to forget my clique that sahre the moments with me(: Yeah. Gonna rush homework.

Disappointment

2010-01-18T18:55:00.004+08:00

I've let down Mr choo& Mrs liam...

I've no idea what had happen, I alr tried to comply whatever the rules the schools have. I dye my hair , yet you are not yet satisfied. Do you think that I'm happy to fill up the attrition form? If you do think so, then let it be. I've no qualms to decide anything. I leave everything to fate. I've let down the teachers who once helped me before. I've let down my loved ones. Hope tomorrow won't be a disappointment. I wanna stay, i'm not leaving unless i did really something wrong. I still wanna prove to people that ITE graduates able to do it. MRS Angsuatneo!, listen carefully, me, liting, will prove you that i will get good grades for you to see. I'm tired of you when you looking down everyone!

Gosh, hope tomorrow everything will be fine, just wanna see teacher tear up the attrition form:( Sigh, Stupid liting!

Reminiscence

2010-01-17T16:30:00.006+08:00

The ones who always hang out with(:

I miss everyone!(: Cause they are the most unique one

The cliques of mine, obviously, not forgetting each other.

But we've not been contacting:(

Everyone is busy with their course, while me still slacking like no one business.

Cause my course is boring.

&I'VE TAKEN THE TRANSFER FORM

but I've no idea where to go other than the course I'm attending now.

Have been contradicting, no idea what coming up.

I tried to be as happy like how in the past.

But after taking my N's, i feel more stressed than ever.

I've no idea that I've changed so much;

My mum, friends, even teacher said that too.

They said that I've changed to another person.

Suddenly, i realised what happen.

All along, i thought studies is my first priority;

&Now, because of studies, i neglect;

boyfriend, friends,buddies,mum;

&they said I'm facing the book more than facing them;

I'm trying to be much more social;

But whenever i tried to do so;

I kept on thinking of the past;

Soured friendship, soured relationship with boyfriend;

&thus, i caused many people wept w/o me knowing;

I've hurt the ones who beside me all along;

Am i really too selfish?

Maybe i am;

I've tried to change again;

but no outcome;

utterly disappointed of myself;

I've the feeling to make my own suffer again:(

I'm trying to control everything in my life;

but does everything let me control;

Liting, you should die earlier!

Friends again......

2010-01-17T11:25:00.005+08:00

Alright, things has past. Let bygones be bygones. Let the past be our insipiration for studies. Both of us might not be as close as others. But our hearts are link... Well, I'm sorry if this time i'm too overboard... Aku Sayang Kau(:

A word to you, lysah....

2010-01-16T16:04:00.002+08:00

I've read your blog, maybe now we have gone to the extent that, both of us when separate ways. I can't blame you neither my own. Cause if things wanted to be like this, eventually we will be like how the story goes. Yes, i said YOU have change when you come to ITE. But is the fact. When you holding a authority in hand, people will tend to be more proud than ever. I believed that you are in the first place. I might really want this friendship back. I need time to put the trust back that you had given me. Sometime, i contradict. I ask myself why I'm in the same class with you?. In the first place, if i'm not even the same class with you, i think all this conflicts won't happen. People might think our friendship is so fragile, just a authority, it spoils everything. I told people, what is mine, i will fight till i get it. But when not mine, i will let it slip through my hand. This friendships has alr built up to 4 years, is not counted as long or neither short. But, i know that our friendships will remains just like how it goes. The 2D1N camp, make me realised, you are up to the job. You care about everyone, in fact. Don't take me as a living example. you might regret. Well, i might really change a lot since sec 3, after so much obstacles, the girl who always had piercing around, blonde hair, always caught by discipline master, end up I'm the only who became such a arsehole! & now, I've changed. I know what i really want, either friends or goals. That's the reason how my studies became like this. Trust me, if i can do it, you can do it also. My life is once messed up before & now is just like a rainbow. There time to be happy and sad. Everyone has a story of their own. I can deny the fact that, i did not really change. If just because of my results , you said I've change. Cause initially i wanted a revenge alot. i thought if i put in my effort in my studies, they will know that I'm not a girl who only love to create troubles. I can do it better than them, But when time passes, i realised I'm not. I've set my goals, and i go for it. Eventually, me and them, became friends again, but not as close as ever. I've gone through many things in my life, I've grown up alot. that why i know what I'm doing. But you haven't know how the society goes, is very cruel. So i hope you are not so naive. Cause when things is beginning to start, you won't be able to stop it.

I do hope this friendship will be able to mend it back. My friend(:

Back from camp(:

2010-01-15T21:35:00.002+08:00

How i wish to stay in maldives...

Peaceful,quiet island.

Memories starting to flashed back...

Just came back from my school camp. Well, what i can say is, i have a very good classmates. They rocks my life ttm!The first day of camp, was late for reporting. But then, there is more people who late than us, no difference. I'm gonna kill the teacher, Mr Danial Tan of class OB, fcuking pour the whole water on my face even though is just a game. The worst things i ever met is, i only have 5 minutes limit time to bath, and i just freaking wash my hair in the basin, cause i don't have time!:( Took cab home with the crazy girls!

I have no idea whether this friendship will last. Seriously, i was a lil unhappy just now. But partially is caused by my fever. Sigh! I don't know what exactly going through my mind. I was paranoid when things happen. I couldn't take anymore setbacks now. Well, for you. i guess is just an illusion. I need to trust my own, not going to pursue those silly things anymore! Pardon me, if one day i really leave without telling.

I've set my goals, i'm gonna work hard for it(: Yes, liting, you can do it(:

Excited about the camp later on(:

2010-01-14T00:14:00.002+08:00

Finally finished making the templates or whatsoever. I did not take so much time as what people think. Cause I'm lazy to do so. School is a bore! Freaking nothing to do. But my cliques, like crazy people. Especially, felicia. She the only one i would like to pinpoint(: Pardon me... Well, this week happen so much things, again another soured friendship. I alr gt use to it by then. No use wasting my tears on you, ingrate!

Since the 4 years of friendship didn't managed to be an important role of your life, i give up then. I get use to it like freaking countless times. You want to make things worst, i can do so. Don't need to be so pathetic in front of teacher when you are alr turning your back on me. You started it, let it roll, Don't stop it. Get it? Your position now is higher than anyone, i believe. But i can tell you , even you managed be the chairman for a year, It doesn't affect me. So if you think that by doing so much "evil" things, i will get troubled. I tell you, No way ! Arsehole!

Genuine world(:

2010-01-11T03:25:00.002+08:00

I've no idea why i have monday blues like always...Sigh!

Back to friday, school as normal. But was fun, classmates are crazy. Wondering why? Cause we are behaving just like we going to be last day together, Snap picture like photoshoot-.-

A brand new start

2010-01-01T01:52:00.006+08:00

Bid goodbye to 2009, Welcome 2010!

The past 365 days,

Many things has happen;

I've learnt alot;

I've learnt to

Be wise;

Be independent;

Be contented with life;

Move on with life even though the whole world is leaving you;

I've learnt alot more than anyone actually;

Time flies fast indeed, just in a blink away, a year pass by

Today will be our 4th year friendship;

I can't blame you for the things happen;

But only can blame me;

just a word s-e-l-f-i-s-h;

Now, you found your true love;

I'm glad about it;

Cherish with what you have now;

But now , what i could tell you was;

We're just a phone away;

I still can be a listening ear/shoulder;

To the 8 of you(my group) :
All along, i thought being with you all are just like a nerds;

But all of you, gave me a glimpse of hope;

You all let me know what in contented;

You all let me realised what actually the right path to go;

You all let me realised that being with you all;

is not nerd; is a scholar;

You all always play a special role in my heart;

You guys, are the best present that god gave me;

God let me know that w/o you all;

there won't me;

Hereby i am to thank you! ;

Now we are going seprate ways to strive hard;

But i know that;

our souls are linked together;

Farid, Ashraff, Sampson, Yuen Tze, Joey, Yeo jun hao,Kelvin, Kok hui

Thank you(:

You guys give me the strength i need;

You guys give me the support to move on;

Thank you(:

Lastly to vincent:

Yeah, sorry.

i know is a dissapointment,

that the starting of the year, i mention breakup

sorry about it;

you know that now studies are my frist priority;

i need to sacrifice you;

i'm sorry,

& goodbye

It wouldn't be anymore 18th.....

A brand new start for me. I've to strive hard to go for further studies.

Tomorrow marks 18th...

2009-12-17T04:19:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow will be the day, guess everyone is having nightmares.Now is 4:20am, i didn't slept a wink. looking at the clock ticking away, time getting closer.Wondering what my results would be? Guess it will dissapoint me. Cause i know where i stand exactly. But, i know, i tried my best. Going to work later on. Guess i won't be able to concentrate. Sigh! Santa claus, grant me this wish....:(

4 more days to go....

2009-12-14T07:03:00.004+08:00

Each day passes so meaningfully. Results are going to be out in four days time. Now, i then realised I've work for a month&more. i can only wait for my results to be out. No matter what the outcome is, i know i alr put in all my efforts, and it's time to know how do i fare for my results. It might not be the best, but i alr know that i finish my exams in school. At least, i didn't quit schooling, teachers didn't give up on me& now i came this far. Although is quite abit late, but later then nothing. Love birthday is reaching, i've plan out something for him, hope he will be able to book out , or leave some lil time time for me. Got to go work later on, tiring...... but my boss treat me just like heaven, she wouldn't even scold me when i make mistakes, still she even laughed at me. funny boss. School will be re-opening, & i have no idea what am i going to be in new "environment".Going to get ready for my private "O" level maths.

diminishing thoughts...

2009-12-07T06:40:00.003+08:00

Time getting nearer& nearer. This feeling is terrible, hope my expectations won't be able to disappoint me.

14 more days ...

2009-12-04T06:46:00.003+08:00

Results are coming. It's time to study in a new environment w new friends out there. Kidda worried about my results, although i give in every of my efforts to study. just received a scholarship from MOE, happy?? I think so, cause i rather want my results to be good, then having a scholarship.....
got to work later on, money please start to roll in my pocket!!! anw, happy birthday , yeo jun hao!

Sentimental

2009-11-20T22:41:00.001+08:00

I've no idea, what have you been thinking. Are you serious this time? or just playing again?i'm tired. i don't wish to fool around like that past. i'm tired...

Interview(:

2009-11-19T09:58:00.002+08:00

Elated(: Was working yesterday. halfway there a company wants me to go interview for today. i didn't expect i can work there too.( sorry for not elarborate out where i'll be working). cause currently i don't want anyone to know i'm working somewhere. got my pay yesterday. $$$ stating to roll in my pocket.

180609

2009-11-18T06:47:00.000+08:00

I've know you since last year, and we never met before, due to my reject. But you didn't give up, you still insist on without fail. you make me open my heart a lil, just to let you in to my life. Still remember our first date? it holds a big significance to us. Every seconds with you, make my heart beat faster. Your ignorance, your gentleness is so alluring that you never ever leave here once. &you did, you didn't leave, you insist to pursue back every moments of us. &ytd, you kneel down, and ask for my forgiveness, asking whether can we be back to the original status.Yet, my reply makes you more heartbroken. You're the reason to let me go on cheerfully without fail, support me. you are a special person that almost complete my entire life, but it's not enough. Cause things became so awkward between us. If time can turn back, i still wish to be a unknown person to you. cause i make you suffer due to my stupid character. Today, the date marks 18th, is our fitfth month anniversary. Time pass so fast, another month has come again. Baby, i'm sorry for letting go.....

what do you expect from me?

2009-11-01T12:54:00.000+08:00

Friends problem, family problem, all comes in a go. And makes me realised without my existence, maybe friends won't be like this, maybe family will know how to understand each other feeling. It's tiring to go on this life. I have to work just cause of money, Now when i got work, family&friends give me problems. Maybe i really hurt you indirectly or either directly, I'm here now apologise to you. Are you satisfied? All this while, friends come and go in my life, thus i know this society is veyr cruel. Cause today you might be a very good friend to me, tomorrow you might change all over.
IF YOU CHOOSE TO PUT ME OUT FROM YOUR GROUP, PLEASE DO SO. CAUSE I KNOW WHAT THE OUTCOME OF THIS FRIENDSHIP.
No use, trying so hard to salvage this friendship. I'm tired.

You're still so alluring deep down in my heart.

2009-10-29T00:47:00.000+08:00

Found a job& everything getting smoothly. But this job is very fun sometimes, Yes, it is property agent. But I'm not the one who advertising or recommend people to buy or rent apartments. Instead I'm helping to do telemarketing. Which is the most easiest job in this world. Cause i only need to seat there , have a list of numbers, and call them up. And depends on them whether they want to hung up my call. Ha ha! The first day of work, I'm very lucky. As i call up client, and he wanted to buy the factory, which means i get to have commission on the first day. I'm very lucky, hope next few days, there's client would like to buy or rent.
Well, for today, Shatec Trip= busy. Invitation cards, running around like a stupid person to find those teacher. but happy to hear their compliments. As all those cards are hand-drawn. Which means, Teacher are satisfied. Happy(: And i need to rush out the reflections on 4Cs. Yes, my schedule is super packed. And i got to rushed to mum's hospital to find out what's wrong with the medicine.
To: Vincent " Silly boy"
I'm sorry for not replying/taking up your call. I need to move on w/o you. As you're the one who always gave me the courage to move on , leaving the past behind. Yes, i did it. But i leave you as the past in purpose. I don't wish to hear any explanations from you. Cause the reason is i still love you. but you only can be my inspiration of my life. Move on, dude! It take a lot of encourage to give you up.

It's useless

2009-10-22T16:52:00.000+08:00

There's no use to put every of my efforts to bring back the past but just move on. School is very fun today. And i realised who the one who always been there for me whenever i really needed help. Friends, you all the best present you ever gave to me. Without you all, there will be no me. Thanks.
Looking forward to the malaaca trip.

Life is a bore!

2009-10-20T08:34:00.000+08:00

It's 2.56am. Yet,again sleepless night. I look over and over the pictures i've taken with you before. And i realised wherever there's holiday, you would come over to my house and tried my home-cooked meals. Maybe my concerns ain't actually the main problem, is i do not have any courage to move on with this life.

I left 6 hours to go, i have to confirm with teacher whether i'm going for the trip.Friends are persuading me to go.And i agreed readily, it's time for me to put you away from my life. You're my past,ain't my future, neither now. I believed myself, i take this past as my vitamins of my life.

Life is a bore!I need cash $$$.

Your sins, is the worse of all.

2009-10-16T15:18:00.000+08:00

I just told mr choo that i'm not going for that trip. I'm sorry, friends. I know i let you all down, but pardone me please. I have my reasons. i'm sorry.......

Everything changes with time

2009-10-15T13:31:00.000+08:00

It's been a year long. Are you living blissfully with the one you love? There so much concerns that i think about you. I've no idea what will my attitude will be if i'm going for the trip. As you're going too, i doubt there will any chance to talk to you. Since then, things change drastically. I've been paranoid for a year long and i still can't get over the past. I remember you're the one who always lend me a shoulder when my relationships are in a mess. You always find ways to help , cheer me. And i don't have a chance to thank you. Instead of repaying my gratitude, it became a quarrel plight. When Mr choo wants me to be happy when going for this trip, i told him, no matter how, if there's you around, i will never put on a sincerely smile.
Our friendship is just so fragile, just a quarrel, everything came to be like this. I accept the fact that without you all, i changed alot in terms of character, academic. It's time to put down this burden and move on with my life.
Remember, be happy always.

Regrets

2009-10-13T01:32:00.000+08:00

It's 1.31 am now. I'm yet to sleep. I've saw your blog, i cried. One bitten, twice shy. I couldn't afford to take any risk. All along, we are just like actors and god will be the director, just like how we goes, our friendship has come to the end. Move on with regrets, is just like what i'm trying to make myself satisfied. If time can turn back, i'll never let this happen. But it won't, it's reality, instead of fairytales. I know we will never be a group once more.

I miss you, friends..........

Graduation day!

2009-10-12T15:02:00.000+08:00

Although graduation is fun and a memorable day, but to me it's not. I've forgotten how you treated me, but deep down, i don't want any people get into my life. This feeling is terrible, you're the one whom i adore the most as a friend, but yet i get back all this repayment. It doesn't matter how much times you hurt me, it's the matter do you ever take this friendship truly, seriously? From the start, we are not friend at all, and is cause by this particular girl who came and destroy my happiness, since after that we are not meant to be friends anymore. Affected by you, isn't the most difficult thing to overcome, is wherever i face you, there is a hatred between you and me. And this regrets will graduate with me , and to rest of my life. It's time to change our roles, you will be the one to be hurt, and i'm the one who hurt you. God play a joke on me, letting me suffer throughout my secondary days.
It take two hands to clap, no matter how much i give in, there will ne no outcome.
All the seeds that you've sown, has change to disaster.

"Hungry" for A's!

2009-10-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

Examinations today was really a tough day for me. Realising, this year science is quite easy to score. But for EBS , i've no idea. Cause there really no right or wrong answers. So i only can depends on the marker who is marking my paper. Hope he/she will be pleased, instead of deducting marks. i'm giving my best this year. Just like what teachers say i might even cry when taking my results, tears of joy? i don't know, god knows only!
Like again, no replying to him, everything gone just like a few moments ago. Hope he's ab;e to takecare himself again, and find a person whom he loves.

Countdown 2 days .

2009-10-03T00:07:00.000+08:00

Time is getting nearer and nearer every passing day. This week is the most tiring week, have been doing test on and on, without resting. but i remember what mr choo had said, the more practice you do, the more you'll improve. At that time i know myself already extend my limits. i may not get the top, i may improve for this final examinations.
All along i thought i'm the most luckiest girl, i managed to comeback when i gone to the wrong path. But, recently, family troubles! Why do you have to be so agitated of the inheritance, if it's your, it will be yours, no use forcing your loved ones to leave the whole assets for you. i detest you alot, you pushed her just infront of me, please imagine she's a 73 years old woman, she's your mother, how could you do this to her? Don't use violence on us. Brainless people, stupid acts, is what you are trying to get attention from people. Dare you harm my family again! i will report to police for sure. I'm not going to care whther i have blood ties with you. You make us suffer, i make you too! i swear, i say, i will do! don't ever let me see you beating her!
exams are around the corner. actually aiming for 6A's , but i don't think i can do it. hopefully, i can get an A for english. Hopefully by tonight, all those practical thingy, goes into my mind. Liting, this is the last push! Don't give up! Don't make those people who look down on you, laugh at you.

Liting, Jiayou! Everything god will make a way for you!

i've forgotten how i hate you.

2009-10-01T18:16:00.000+08:00

It's been months, i guess now i have forgotten your place in my heart. You're once my friend, once my soulmate. But things change ever since the "quarrel". i've been having nightmares. History is repeating again, just like a cycle, no matter how i run away from it, it come back .

What's happen? I guess really it come to an end

2009-06-26T02:14:00.001+08:00

I don't want it to be an end. Sorry, baby. I know i've make you very upset this time. Its my fault.

Dilemma

2009-06-25T00:20:00.000+08:00

Sudden feeling that something happen between me and baby. But i couldn't find whats the problem. Though we didnt quarrel or anything, i still felt something happen. Hope he's really faithful to this relationship.
Someone , please let me sort out my feelings. I'm frustrated.

Blessed Love

2009-06-24T00:28:00.000+08:00

Baby has been treating me very good. I love it. Till now, finally no more quarrels. I finally get to heave a sigh. Furthermore, he told my mum that he wanna marry me. Hope this goes on always . i don't want any thing to go between us. Crazy baby. He's a spoilt "brat" at home . Always play play play, never help your mama. Naughty baby. Baby working OT tonight. So that means he won't be home today. Baby is coming my house to stay. Happy! Haha
Left a week , have to go back school. Have to mug hard for my prelims. I don't want to let down baby and my mum.
Hope baby won't think i neglecting him cause of my studies.

Addicted

2009-06-20T02:10:00.000+08:00

I'm meeting love later on. He told me that he miss me alot. I don't believe at all. Once bitten, Twice shy. But i still hoping for the change in him.
God, please, relationships sucks to the core. But i'm trying to retrieve it back .
Hope love really change.
I think when re-open school, mr results will drop. As i didnt study. All i know is play play play. As i know i don't have the heart to study for the time being. I just wanna quickly end my holidays. Its very very boring. Love is busy with his work. I'm always slacking at home. Like as if i'm rotting soon.
I wanna work. But prelims are coming. I don't want my mum to pay a visit to school. She will be very dissapointed with me.She wants me to do well. But all i know is giving up. Liting has to buck up! Liting , don't look into the computer anymore! Study! Study!
Love, i love you whom you are, but please change. This relationships has to be lasting&loving.

Tolerance

2009-06-08T07:23:00.000+08:00

I've fall out with him, due to some stupid reasons. I'm not going to reconcile or contact him. I can tolerate other things which going to my way, but i can't tolerate a guy who so unfaithful. Thanks to minghui girlfriend. Spoke to her yesterday, thanks for lending me a listening ear.
Have been thinking the problem between me and them. I'm not going to pursue about it anymore. I don't want to cling to this problem, when no one actually think about it. I have no choice, but to give up my own rights. No point holding on .
This is the way you want, i go with it. No matter how, i'm still a loner.

I'll take the blame

2009-06-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

Everything's is my fault,
I'm the one to blame.
I'm the one who clinging you as a friend.
I'm the one who make myself so miserable.
I'm the one who don't forgive and forget.
I've been falling and falling and falling into a deeper hole whereby friends is leaving one by one.
I'm the one who make you all quarrel.
I'm in the fault. He's not.
I'm the one.
I need some sense knocked into my head.
Along the road, I gain friends and i lose friends.
Gradually i'm losing everything. I'm a burden
I made your life so miserable, i shouldn't sort my feeling to you as a friend

He should bevery satisfied with my answer of this.
I AM A BUDREN OF YOU AND OTHERS!

Seriously? What the definition of "friends"

2009-06-03T16:08:00.000+08:00

Beware! This post is going to de damm vulgar!
Well, someone please tell me whats really the definition of friends?
Why we have to kill each other throats? We are friends, Yet you did this to me. I don't deny that this my Fcuking attitude is seriously bad. I know, If not the past 3 years, i'm those typical "Ah lians".
My attitude is like this! What you want me be?
So now what you want? You just give my the fcuking unglam face every morning. I'm stating the facts, whereby you in class always play. I agree with the 10 marks which deducted from the homework.
Ya, are you satisfied? You make me look as a fcuking hell person, Some even think is my wrong! Hey, You backstab me, Yet you still think you're right?
If you're seriously unhappy with me. Confront it to my face then!
Seriously, why you have to do this? I didnt own you a living. I be myself. i done my own proud, not you.
Somemore, if you want me to leave you, and them. This is impossible.
I treated you best of the best friends, Yet what you return me back?
I'm fine if you wanted to say whatsoever things like making me sad. But this is worse.
I didnt outstand you anything, why you need to do this?
Fcuk! Fcuk! Fcuk!
Why you have to do this? Seriously, if can, i'm sure i will go up and confront to you! Asshole!
I'm just a burden to this group. i should stop study, and you will be happy to see my marks. Since you made this remarks of me!

I don't have true friends, i don't have a good mother!

2009-05-31T21:39:00.000+08:00

So much things happen in this weekends! I hate it!
This person backstab me from behind! What can i say? No trusted friend at all! Mum will only think about money money money! She doesnt love me at all!I realised i borned out from the wrong person. All she cares is just money, what about me? Does she love me?
How can a mother complains that what i am a person who always uses her money! Since you're so unhappy, why you still want to use up the money?! Why? Since like this, don't force yourself to buy! Please!

Parents meeting session.

2009-05-29T13:56:00.000+08:00

My mum is going to meet the teacher tomorrow. What am i going to do? Guess mr choo wil keep on an on saying about my course and results.
Sad thing is, joey case weren't seems to be positive. What to do? Hope she really give a thought about 9 of us.
I've been studying on&on like don't know how many hours at home. Even when i get to go out for shopping, i still hold a book wherever i goes. My mum complains me being a bookworm. And yeah, just now i almost bang to the wall while looking at my book. Looks stupid lo!
Liting is seriously trouble.

Last day of School (sad face)

2009-05-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

Its the last day of school, It seems everyone are happy to have the coming june holidays. But some are already getting piss off by their everyday same routine of studying.
For me, i guess, i'm feeling sad terribly. Afraid that in my studies there no teacher to help me during the holidays, Although Mr choo assigned us to come back to school for more practice.
After holidays, there a mock test for science. I need to buck up more in science.
So much regrets, if i were to listen to teacher attentively in last year, by now i may get a better grade for science.As for english, there like an extra mile for me to go. I don't know how to use like those sort of "words" to get an high mark. But no matter how would it be,i go for it.
Holidays are like very busy. Studies, Studies. Mum has arrange a private tutor for me. Intensive tutor . Mum is expecting me to be more good. I'll try hard. This year maybe tough for me but i rather be successful in the future. Just like what farid told me. And i must thanks for farid "counselling" me ! Haha. He's always making me laugh like a crazy.
Nevertheless, i still thank him for this friendship and my group members, They are the one who push me up.There still only about one or two months left till "N" level. What am i going do?
I'm stupid.
He's still in japan,He's only coming back till 31 may. Hope he fine over there. Felt so weird when every morning, there no one sms me a good morning message. Making me to put on a smile everyday. Come back soon.

My birthday falls on the date when i'm having my prelims! Gawd!

Top position in class

2009-05-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

I felt moody about the result of CME.
But more worse is, i'm more stressed after knowing the result of my overall subjects.Although i've improve , but i never thought of getting the top position in class.
Is stressed when you get the top. You cannot have the chance to improve more.Just like an running race, if you were to look at other people, you will stand behind always. But the more i get higher marks, i feel happy, but when i thought of what teacher and other working adults, who told me to think about it for my options. I yearn to aim for good goals, A renowned chef. Set up an restaurant in F&B industry.
But everyone look like stepping on me,i have my goals, why can't i choose for my own sake.
Mum and Aunty was elated after hearing my results. Last but not least, my grandmother too. She wanted to celebrate for me. Afterall, kinship is always nearby me, When i didn't notice much,i run away from home. They should be seriously worried for me. I've really change for the better. i tried ways to coax my mum after so much things happend. Managed to get the trust from them.
Thought of him yesterday, i don't know why. I'm worried for him. He's in japan right now. Worst thing is, japan now so chaos. What happen when he didnt come back? I've still haven't answered him lot of questions. You have to come back for the sake of the answers. I've think throughly.

Liting is not happy at all.

Discontented

2009-05-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

I don't know whats the reason behind why can't i just take this course.
Although is not useful for me to go through University. But i choose to take the path i would like to go for. Why are you making me to hesitate of what am i going for, my goals? Aren't its perfect? I love this course defnitely.
So what am i striving hard for the straight A's ? I tried hard, just to opt for more better options? If just the sake of going to University, why am i already? Have i go by my parents ways?
I know wht my future going to be if i really opt for this course. But this is what i am, i always harbour this thoughts. I'm living for my own, Instead for teacher, etc...
I may somehow strive hard for this year, But the outcome i want to be is just a normal students who's study. I can't go beyond my limits. If i get to extend, i'm no more liting.
Being hard enough, i've go through so much obstacles and objections, of not going in to this course? What can i explain to them?
What the use when you tell me to reconsider for my opt? I may ruin my coming future? So what? As long, i'm able to set my goals , And go for it. I will know this is liting.
Liting is not going to abide her mother will again.